Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and support. Follow Anna Lum on Instagram: @anna.cutzFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callResources Discussed:Do the work podcast with Sabrina Zohar

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and support. Follow [Guest] on Instagram: Visit [Guest]’s website: Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callResources Discussed:Definition of perfectionism according to Brenee Brown -Perfectionism for dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. Examples: I have been holding on to a bunch of stickers to put them on the perfect place Not wanting to get a nice new journal messed up Thinking there is only one right wayUsually there’s a need that’s not getting met.I’d love to help you understand and work through perfectionism so you can create healthy loving relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team.

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and support. In this podcast episode, we delve into a common misconception about attachment styles that many people get wrong. When individuals discover their attachment style, they often believe they must first heal it to achieve secure attachment before entering a relationship. For dismissive-avoidant individuals, this stems from a fear of being a burden to others. For anxious preoccupied people this stems from a fear of rejection.However, the truth is that attachment doesn't operate in a linear "heal before love" manner. Secure attachment isn't about fixing oneself first; it's about learning how to express and ask for one's needs effectively. This means that being able to articulate your insecurities and communicate your needs is a hallmark of secure attachment.Join us as we explore the concept of attachment and discuss how understanding and voicing your needs can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships. I’d love to help you learn how to understand and communicate your attachment needs. Book a free discovery call to see what outdated patterns are holding you back from healthy relationships. It is possible to change your attachment style and feel like you’re growing with someone in a deeply committed relationship. Link to book a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and support. In today’s episode, I delve into attachment styles using the Netflix show Love Is Blind Season 6 as a case study. I analyze the attachment patterns exhibited by each couple, highlighting both insecure and secure behaviors. This season was a delightful blend of sweetness and intensity, especially captivating when viewed through the lens of attachment theory. Reality TV offers a unique opportunity to witness real-life examples of how couples relate to each other and the role attachment plays in their dynamics.This episode particularly delves into the anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics portrayed by Chelsea and Jimmy, offering plenty of insights to unpack. As a coach, I also share my favorite moments from observing these dynamics.If you're eager to foster healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team, I invite you to book a free discovery call. Let's explore together what outdated patterns might be hindering your relationship growth. Here’s the link to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call?month=2024-03Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Resources Discussed:Breaking down attachment on Queer Love Ultimatum: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2yCYnKMux0ajpk5vXHSoWi?si=329d77d3dc494e41

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and support. Are afraid you’re going to hurt someone when you’re honest about your feelings? Do you have unresolved issues causing you to hurt people you care about? Are you worried your feelings will be hurt if you share honestly?These are very common fears for the different attachment styles. In this episode, I explain why the different attachment types have this fear including the anxious preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. I finish the episode sharing the very first tiny step to start being honest with other people about your feelings without hurting them. It’s an easy little trick and I use it for everything.If you’re interested in learning how to communicate in a loving supportive way to create healthy relationships book a free discovery call to see if my one-on-one coaching program is the right fit for you. Here’s the link to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and support. In this week’s episode I talk about the difference between people pleasing and just being a good human. It’s a very fine line which I thought it was important to talk about. I start the episode with a few examples of what people pleasing looks like and why the different attachment styles do it. I share why the anxious preoccupied attachment style and the fearful avoidant tend to people-please. I then go into detail about how you can tell the difference between people pleasing and being a good person. Knowing your needs and learning how to communicate them will help you understand where the line is.If you’re interested in learning how to stop people pleasing and create healthy relationships in your dating life I’d love to help you. Book a free discovery call to see if my one-on-one coaching program is the right fit for you. Here’s the link to book the call:  https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s episode of Lit AF Relationships I share a few sneaky signs that you're feeling unworthy in your dating life. Are you not swiping right because you think they’re better than you? Are you going with the flow instead of sharing your real needs or desires because you’re afraid they will leave? Are you compromising too much? Have you given up on dating entirely because it’s too overwhelming to be faced with the feeling of unworthiness? In this episode, I share why you’re feeling this way and explain how the different attachment styles cope with unworthiness including the fearful-avoidant, anxious preoccupied, and the dismissive avoidant. The great news is, unworthiness is a feeling state. It comes and goes. It is possible to change your attachment style and I would love to help you do it.If you’re interested in creating healthy and secure relationships book a free discovery call to see if my one-on-one attachment coaching program is the right fit for you. Click here to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s episode, I talked with the founder and artist behind one of my favorite instagram accounts, Vanillacooldance. Jessica Stahl draws cartoons to empower women in dating and in the bedroom. Jessica is here to help remove the shame and stigma from getting kinky in the bedroom. I really love how Vanillacooldance shares so vulnerably about embarrassing dating moments or sexy time and Jessica is the exact same way.We talk about female pleasure and why it’s such a taboo topic. We also talk about our first orgasms and sex talks from our parents.We finish the convo talking about a few ways to start asking for your needs to be met from the person you’re dating to the person you’ve been with for a long time. Thank you Jessica! We all need this ray of light in the taboo world.If you’re interested in learning how to share your needs and boundaries in the bedroom or in dating book a free discovery call to see if my one-on-one secure relationships coaching program is for you. It’s zero-pressure and you’ll learn what attachment patterns are holding you back from deep connection with others. Book the call here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Vanillacooldance on Instagram: @vanillacooldanceVisit the Vanillacooldance website: Vanillacooldance.comFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Why are they pulling away? Why are they trying to trap me?Follow [Guest] on Instagram:Visit [Guest]’s website:Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

This episode re-airs a recent interview I did on Of The Essence with Liz. We chat about how I got into attachment coaching, how I healed my fearful avoidant attached style and have created earned secure attachment. We also cover how attachment styles are formed and how they change over time. Liz is very brave and vulnerable and shares about how her attachment style has changed over time. I also go into each of the Attachment styles - secure, dismissive avoidant, anxious preoccupied & disorganized / fearful avoidant. And I explain what the anxious and avoidant relationship looks like. We finish the episode with my one step tip to move your relationship toward more secure.If you are interested in learning what attachment patterns are holding you back from finding or being in a relationship book a free discovery call to see if my one on one coaching program is the right fit for you. I hope to see you there!Listen to Of The Essence with Liz - https://open.spotify.com/show/0TbZB1Y1TjtpiIq5sQCXrpFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Have you fallen off your New Years resolutions? Me too. Well, I’ve just stopped setting them because I realized I was setting myself up for failure each year, which is why I wanted to record this episode. New Year's resolutions are tough. They rely on willpower which will motivate us for a short amount of time. But eventually, we’ll start snoozing that alarm clock, make excuses to skip the gym after work, and comfort eat a pint of ice cream. In this episode, I explain why it’s so hard to make the changes that we think we want. I also explain one tool to use to start making small steps in the direction you want to head in. I know it can feel overwhelming and a little shameful to fall off the wagon so soon. But don’t worry, you’re in the best of company with the rest of us.If you’re interested in creating secure relationships where you are asking for your needs to be met, setting clear boundaries, and sharing your honest opinions book a free discovery call to see what attachment style patterns have been holding you back from this. Link to book: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Sometimes it’s really hard to say no to dating, hooking up, or getting over someone. You might know exactly how they’re not the right person or their not supporting you in the way that you need but you keep coming back for more. In this episode I talk about why it’s so hard to end it. I also share what’s happening at the subconscious level that keeps you coming back for more. I definitely cover why guilt and shame are making it all worse and maybe even keeping you stuck. As always, I finish the episode sharing one tool to help you start meeting your needs on your own so you can either keep going with the late night Netflix and chill situationship or end it for good. Either way you’re making a decision that’s right for YOU!If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people-pleasing, using mind-reading as your main form of communication, or dating unavailable people book a discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right for you. It’s a zero-pressure call where you get to learn what outdated strategies from childhood are holding you back in relationships. I hope to see you there! Link to book a free discovery call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Sarah Cohan on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit Sarah Cohan’s Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s podcast, I talk about why the fearful avoidant attachment style loves chaos. The fearful-avoidant attachment type grew up in chaos. As an adult they tend to seek out chaotic situations like an unhealthy or toxic work environment, getting into credit card debt, or dating someone reckless. In the episode, I talk about why they seek out situations like this. I then go into how the fearful-avoidant eventually reacts to chaotic situations with an intense need to control the situation. I have so much empathy for this reaction because it’s their way of innocently trying to get their needs met without healthy communication skills. Trust me, I’ve been here, this is the attachment style I grew up with. At the end of the episode, I share one easy solution for you to start using today to build self-trust that you will eventually expand toward others. It is 100% possible to change your attachment style. Tune in to hear how.If you’re interested in healing your attachment style so you can date people without flipping 180 degrees after they show interest in you on a date or so you can start having a healthy relationship with the person you are with schedule a free discovery call. This is a no-pressure call to learn what attachment patterns are holding you back from the relationship you want. Click the link here to schedule: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s podcast I talk with Alexandra Shelly, the Modern Medium. She’s passionate about infusing her joy, spirited humor, and creativity into fundamental practices learned by her mentor and world-renowned psychic mediums, in order to create a practice that is uniquely hers. We talk about two topics, being single and spirituality. She shares what has helped her explore her own pleasure and satisfaction in her single life as well as some light and easy spiritual practices. We explore control, surrender and joy. And of course we talk about how to sharpen your intuition. This is interview is fun and playful, true to both our natures.If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people pleasing, being passive aggressive, or running hot and cold in relationships book a free discovery call to see if my 6-month relationship and communication program is the right fit for you. It is possible to change your attachment style whether you’re single or in a relationship. Book your discovery call here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Alexandra Shelly on Instagram: @themodernmedium_Visit Alexandra Shelly’s website: themodernmedium.coFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Today on the podcast Shelby Avann and I talk about sex, intimacy, and the different attachment styles. This is a juicy convo and Shelby explains the different patterns that each attachment style experiences in the bedroom including anxious preoccupied, fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, and secure attachment. She shares a few communication tips to ensure you’re getting and giving consent and getting your sexual needs met. Sex, pleasure, and giving and receiving are such an important part of a healthy and secure relationship. Tune in to start showing up securely in your sex life.Book a free discovery call to learn what old patterns affected your last relationship and how to start creating secure relationships this year. Link to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Shelby on Instagram: @intimacymistressVisit Shelby Avann’s website: https://www.shelbyavann.ca/Link to Shelby’s Intimacy, Sex and Attachment Styles Course:https://www.shelbyavann.ca/challenge-page/fa5ebbe2-ba0f-4110-97d0-a7b91fd17c2bFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

Are you worried you’re never going to find someone to be with? This is such a common thought for people who are dating, newly single, or scared to break up with someone they are not happy with. If this is you, I have so much compassion for you. This is a totally normal fear that the majority of the planet has bought into at a certain point in their lifetime. In this episode, I break down what happens when you believe this thought and how this can cost you alot of bad dates. Then, I share the very first tool that I share with my clients. It’s a combination of thought work and cognitive behavioral therapy. You’ll learn how to gently change your brain to think in a more open, secure, and curious mindset. Are you ready to date confidently and securely to find that person you’ve been dreaming about? Book a free consult call to learn about how you can change old dating patterns this year for good. Book it here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

On today’s episode of Lit AF Relationships, Anna Lum shares her story about creating secure attachment after a breakup. She shares how she healed her anxious preoccupied attachment style that was triggered in her last relationship. She talks about the steps she took to heal her attachment style and how she is sharing needs, processing emotions, and communicating boundaries. We go deep about the particular day when she start communicating boundaries without any resistance and how she developed her relationship with herself. Anna’s info: What’s up y’all, I’m Anna! I’m a Sacramento barber that specializes in cutting straight hair as well as longer styles. Sarah has helped me tremendously in my journey in healing my anxious attachment. Because of the work we’ve done together, I’ve been able to understand and communicate my needs, fulfill my own needs, self soothe, and overall show up more authentically in my life. Building a better relationship to myself and healing my attachment has giving me a huge uptick in all areas of my life. I would highly recommend getting into this work for anyone wanting to improve their quality of life! If you’re interested in more of the work that I do, my instagram and tik tok handle is @anna.cutz . Thanks for tuning into our podcast! :) If you’re interested in learning how to process emotions so you can communicate needs directly and effectively book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Book your free discovery call here: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Anna on Instagram: @anna.cutzVisit Anna’s website: https://booksy.com/en-us/668595_anna-cutz_barber-shop_119498_elk-groveFollow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

For today’s episode I’m re-airing a recent In My Non-Expert Opinion podcast episode with me as a guest. Chelsea Riffe hosts the podcast and she shares how she healed her anxious attachment in her dating life.We cover all things attachment on this episode including a deep dive into all the attachment styles including anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, and secure attachment. We discuss the common anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic and what to do when you find yourself in this situation. Chelsea shares about how discovering her needs has helped her become more secure in her relationship to herself.My favorite thing about this episode is how much Chelsea shares about healing her own anxious preoccupied attachment style. It’s really powerful and will hopefully help you on your attachment healing journey.If you’re interested in ending old relationship patterns like people-pleasing and hoping your partner will read your mind book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Book the call here: Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callListen to In My Non-Expert Opinion podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/46sFOpt34jKVVmbWZVM2FH?si=77abf326c3484b83Follow Chelsea Riffe on Instagram: @chelseariffe: https://www.instagram.com/chelseariffe/Visit Chelsea Riffe’s website: https://www.chelseariffe.com/Follow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Download my free relationship scripts: https://www.sarahcohan.com/freetools

In this episode I talk about how to overcome chronic feelings of guilt and shame. First of all, if this is you, I want you to know that this is so common. Both fearful avoidants and dismissive avoidants often tend towards feelings of guilt and shame. I share a few examples of how you can catch this habit, it might be showing up in a sneaky way you don’t even realize. I then finish the episode with two easy tools to use to start moving towards compassion for yourself. The second tool is one of my favorite questions that I like to ask clients. Listen in to stop these feelings and move towards a more loving way to treat yourself. Relief is possible!If you’re interested in showing up securely in new or existing relationships book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit you. You’ll also learn what relief is possible for you custom tailored to your unique attachment style. Here’s the link to book the call: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/Discovery call link: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-call

Are you spending alot of time fantasizing about your ex? Do you wish they would call or you could get back together? Are you the one that did the breaking up and you’re still thinking about them? It might be surprising to hear that this is actually common. In this episode I share a few sneaky ways your brain might be fantasizing about your ex without you even realizing it, hello Instagram stories! The good news is that your brain is both really smart and also really simple. You’ll learn a few tools to help your brain stop thinking about your ex, for good, that don’t involve willpower or a social media strike.If you’re interested in overcoming old relationship patterns like people pleasing, codependency, and lack of boundaries book a free discovery call to see if my 1:1 coaching program is the right fit for you. Here’s the link to book: https://calendly.com/hello-3224/getting-to-secure-consult-callFollow Lit AF on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.comVisit the Lit AF Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/